It seems like enough for now

Once I tried on a life
Of long, meandering bike rides,
Of hiking trails and wooden canoes—
But it wasn't mine to keep.

Once I tried on a life
Of riding subways through the city,
Of trolling museums and writing novels—
But it wasn't mine to keep.

Those lives were just on loan,
A free trial I didn't renew
When the romance, job or circumstance
They were attached to went away.

***
I have instead a solid life,
With long-term financing and positive returns. 
Not fanciful or free-spirited, but better.
It seems like enough for now.

I have instead a solid life,
Collapsing in front of the TV,
Sorting the tiniest socks and dresses.
It seems like enough for now.

This life I wouldn't have envisioned
Back when I'd been "life shopping"—
One of packing lunches, wiping noses,
Blowing kisses as I drive away.

***
The solid's starting to weather, though.
We spend precious breath on procedure,
Leaving few for flights of fancy—
It's not going to be enough.

The solid's starting to weather, though,
The fun we have is others'.
And unless we create our own,
It's not going to be enough.

I'm not saying shed this life.
It's really comfortable and soft.
We can add glitter and sparkle,
Blending the whimsy with the everyday.

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